| ||
|
Thank You
Thank you to everyone here. To ppl who read my blog. To ppl who ask me how I am. To ppl who ask me if I'm ok. To ppl who care. To ppl who dun take me for granted. I dunno what I'd do....thank you for being friends....real friends.... ~Am~ at 3:32 AM Your words don't mean anything to me. Stop promising me things that I know you can't keep. Stop telling me you care when I can't seem to feel it. Stop pretending things are a big deal when they're not. Stop telling me you miss me cause i don't fucking feel it. Stop trying to pull me into something that will just hurt me in the end. Stop ..just stop... ~Am~ at 3:36 AM In the midst of typing my essay.... HIM: hey hey... she knows all abt yu.... and how much yu mean to me... it aint gonna be too different... HIM: can yu stillfind the glove??? ME: haha....it's still with me dun worry ME: my stuffed pig is guarding it...it's sitting on my shelf...i dun wanna lose it..just in case HIM: its still my hp case... its quite a cool conversation piece yu noe... relly...everyone asks abt it... HIM: and yeah everyone wants o noe the story behind the glove... HIM: it becomes a long story....... cant go thru it here..... but now a lot of pple tink i have a chinese gf hu's from brunei....studies in autralia.....hs most of her friends in singapore......and has a personallty thats out of this world.... as yu can see that line's been repeated so many times over..... I dunno whether to believe it's true. Either way, I'm still the bitch . Sigh....life sucks.... ~Am~ at 5:33 PM A quiz...compliments of Candice Guys Like That You're FunYou're the type of girl guys brag about knowing That's because you're cool, funny, and laid back You're smart enough to know how to be one of the guys But flirty enough to know how to make them all want you What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Hehe...check it out ppl. Ahem, the guys can give it a shot too. Haha. *grin* ~Am~ at 2:01 PM I love you like a little brother. I hate to see you upset. If there is ever anything, I want you to know I'll be here for you. Always. I promise. Don't worry. She'll be ok. ~Am~ at 3:05 PM I'm gonna make a change, for once im my life It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a diference Gonna make it right... As I, turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat This wind is blowing my mind I see the kids in the streets, with not enough to eat Who am I to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs A summer disregard,a broken bottle top And a one man soul They follow each other on the wind ya' know 'Cause they got nowhere to go That's why I want you to know I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself, and then make a change I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love It's time that I realize That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone? A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart And a washed-out dream They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see 'Cause they got no place to be That's why I'm starting with me I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself, and then make a change (You gotta get it right when you got the time) (You gotta get up and make up your mind) Man In The Mirror sung by Sum Of Us ~Am~ at 11:37 PM
How do you know? How do you know that you can trust the people around you? How do you know that you can trust a person to be there? How do you know that this person wun spill everything to the world? How do you know that when you turn your back, no one is stabbing you over and over again? How do you know? Sigh...maybe we'll never know...maybe we can never tell.....damn...it's such a scary feeling.... ~Am~ at 12:17 AM LONG TIME NO HEAR Sigh, I haven't heard from you in ages. And today, I finally decided to mail you. You replied. It felt so good to hear from you again. It felt so good to know that you're happy. It felt so good to know that you got where you wanted. I'm glad to know that you want to see me cause i want to see you too. I'm glad you still want to talk to me cos so do I. We have so much to catch up on. It's weird, but i think I know what I'm feeling. I'm just going to put all my pride, my anger, everything aside and say it. I miss you.... ~Am~ at 12:31 AM God....i feel so fucked up. I wanna go to the beach. I wanna take a long walk. I wanna sit and talk to myself. I wanna be alone.... ~Am~ at 1:28 AM Cleared Up.... Hello all. Thanks for the concern. I think it's just me for now. Just a feeling I've been getting. I think it might have quite a bit to do with stress and work. Sigh...and also cos the year is ending and yet it's not ended yet. I wanna holiday. Candz you're right. We just need to BUM. I have a feeling I'm feeling what you're feeling. Ok..that was a bit complicated to read. But yeah, I think I am. The whole, I DO NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING mood..and yeah..sit and stone for ages...and ages... But since i can't...i think i just have to deal with it...But yeah...i think I'm feeling a whole lot better...I just needed a day...gives me some time to let things clear....Had a talk with my brother.....i guess he knew i wasn't ok...cos it was the first thing he asked me....talked things out about us...our relationship..how he's the only person i can scream at cos he wun get mad at me and he has to take ALL of my shit..and I mean ALL of it.... Kinda feel sorry for him sometimes cos if i'm going to snap it's going to be at him. But yeah....he understands. He was so sweet...was cutting up my salad for me and offered to cook dinner....one of those good days...=o) But in the end...went over to Jason's place for dinner. Was good stuff. He's another one who seems to handle my crap pretty well. I feel lucky.... Then spent the whole night till about 3am playing POKER at Eddie's place....haha...in actual fact...POKER is pretty damn fun....was good enough really....Eddie, Seba and I.....laughing....screaming (again)....eating....screaming (again)....haha....was fun....i needed that....therapeutic....sigh...maybe it's what I needed.....just some loving and heaps of fun... To the other person who's feeling very fan....hopefully this phase will pass. At least i know someone knows how i feel. Thank you to the next person for the sms. =o) Thanks to the next people for the concern. I took your advice. I went out. =o) and yeah...feeling all better....thank you to the people in the library whom i nearly snapped at. Thank you for the ones at home who could tolerate my nonsense. Thank you..... ~Am~ at 12:02 PM CRABBY.....*gloom* I feel like a wreck. I feel like I can't be fucked with the world right now. I feel like everything is crashing down on me although i have no idea what 'everything' is. I feel so pissed off. I feel like I can't be bothered with anything. I feel like i'm going insane. I feel claustrophobic. I feel like being bitchy. I feel so irritated. I feel so fan (new chinese word i learnt from Lib). I feel so so restless. I feel tired. Really really tired.. Sigh....i need to go out.... Sorry to people whom I've snapped at. Sorry to ppl whom I've nearly snapped at. Sorry to those who have to put up with my bitchiness. Sorry for losing my cool. Sorry for everything... But thank you for understanding..thank you for tolerating all my crap. Thank you....sigh..i dunno why I'm feeling this way..maybe I'm stressed...maybe it's my period...maybe it's just a phase...I dunno what it is..sigh..but i dun wanna blow my top at people....sigh....I'm sorry..... ~Am~ at 6:40 PM NEW PHONE!!! Yay! I got my new phone. A new 6100. Haha..been sitting...eyeing that phone for ages..and now...it's MINE! la dee daa....*grin*....sigh...I have a new toy to play with now. And ahem..CANDICE! my phone sings now...haha...*prances around the room* *takes a deep breath* *prances around the room again*...... ~Am~ at 7:36 PM PARTYING Been a pretty busy weekend. Two birthdays consecutively although there were many other bdays going on too. Spent Friday night at Eddie's place 'gambling'. Not real money..just like monopoly money. But was really fun. Blackjack..Baccarat. we were all yelling and screaming and cursing...and uh...'withdrawing money' from an imaginary ATM machine and getting money from a 'loan shark'. haha..it's was funny...Just seems more fun when you're not really losing anything... Then last night.....I haven't been for a proper 'sit-down' dinner in ages. Went for dinner at Waterfront for my brother's friend's birthday. Was great stuff.....we had starters of like oysters, scallops and mashed potatoes, sushi and sashimi. Then our main course. THE STEAK WAS HUGE. There was salad...We drank wine...we had cocktails...we had a MASSIVE cake that between the 11 of us we only managed to plough through half of it. haha.....then we took photos...sat down...laughed and crapped about stuff...the waiter was really nice....and he had a great memory..he could take our orders without writing it down..pretty impressive man... On the whole...it's been a pretty good weekend....I guess i needed to go out...just let loose and have fun. Dress up...feel good...enjoy myself. I put on make-up last night people. It's pretty amazing huh? For a make-up idiot. Just felt like it I guess. Haha...i swear i need to run to someone to find out how to put this stuff on properly before i start to look like a clown. Ahem..volunteers? You have to be pretty patient...cos I honestly don't know anything....*sheepish grin* ~Am~ at 11:18 AM Thinking too damn much about things that don't make sense Irritable Really need some time alone Extremely wornout Dunno why I'm feeling lost.... ~Am~ at 2:23 AM It's a beautiful autumn day. The trees are a blazing orange and the ground is covered with leaves. She can smell the crisp, fresh air as the cold wind blows against her face. She walks. She turns to look at him. She smiles. His gentle eyes...his caring nature...his cheeky grin...his stupid stunts....the way he tries to crack some stupid joke but she just laughs anyway........ They walk on....each time....laughing more..smiling more....walking closer to one another...and then suddenly she stops... her heart races....her thoughts go in circles...she doesn't know what's going on..what to do...what to say.... she turns around...and starts to run back the way they came.... but as she turns to bolt in the other direction...she realises..she can't... He's holding her hand...she still feels scared...she still doesn't know what to do... But he says..without joking this time..."it's ok"...things will be ok....I promise.... ~Am~ at 5:20 PM The most destructive habit.....................Worry The greatest Joy...............................Giving The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect The most satisfying work...............Helping others The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders Our greatest natural resource...............Our youth The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear The most effective sleeping pill........Peace of mind The most crippling failure disease............Excuses The most powerful force in life..................Love The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper The world's most incredible computer........The brain The worst thing to be without................... Hope The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue The two most power-filled words..............."I Can" The greatest asset..............................Faith The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity The most beautiful attire......................SMILE! The most prized possession................Integrity The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm The most important thing in life..................Family Everyone needs this list to live by... Anonymous ~Am~ at 4:54 PM Sadness...it's prob one of the lousiest feelings in the world. You can't help it sometimes. It just comes...it comes and your whole world just plummets and you just sit there...lost..not knowing what to do....not knowing how to make it go away. But what do we do?? We live through every day pretending that things are alright but really.....something's troubling us...it sits at the back our minds...like a disease that creeps up on you and engulfs you when you're most vulnerable.... Yet...it's worse when you can't cry....when you just sit in bed dazed...stoned....spaced out.... There's so much pent up inside waiting to come out....but it can't....it just sits....and sits...and sits...till it hurts.... ~Am~ at 2:47 AM Sigh....it's over. I've lost it. I've just crossed that line and now I'm back to square one AGAIN. ~Am~ at 3:46 AM You just have the knack of doing it. You know just exactly what goes on in my head when i don't know how to put it in words myself. When i don't know how to say exactly how I feel...you say it. And that's why I love you sooo much. I realise how much i miss you Baby. Even if it's only a few days, it feels lke ages since I've seen you. I love you! love you heaps heaps... ~Am~ at 6:41 PM
we *ahem*..should do this more often.....*grin* ~Am~ at 11:10 AM Hey everyone, I've finally decided to put my blog up online. So yeah, you guys can view it from there now. www.noitylittledevil.blogspot.com and yeah..there's a tagboard on the right so that yeah...can say stuff..hehe...=o) ~Am~ at 3:47 PM
i dunno what i'm feeling inside...i dunno whether i should be feeling this way...i'm confused...i feel like a wreck...like i don't know what the heck is going on...sigh....I don't know what to think...how to react....how to anything...sigh.... I'm just feeling lost..... ~Am~ at 11:26 AM |
|
